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How To Be Comfortable With Yourself

Last Updated on July 24, 2020 by Camilla Gill

how to be comfortable with yourself

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Figuring out how to be comfortable with yourself is so important to your happiness in life. You know, you’re not alone if you’re exhausted from trying to keep up with your friends’ lives.

That feeling that you’re not doing enough, or you’re making the wrong career choices or you’re not making enough money is very normal. So many millennials are just like you, completely confused by life and feeling out of place, plagued by a constant anxiety that you’re doing everything wrong.

This anxiety stems from not being comfortable with yourself and not knowing who YOU are. But, when you figure it all out, you’ll be able to free yourself of the constant comparison to your friends. You’ll be able to accept yourself for who you are and that anxiety that follows you around? Guess what? It will disappear…


What Does It Mean To Be Comfortable With Yourself?

Being comfortable with yourself and in your skin means being OK with your life choices, having healthy self-esteem, and not being so hard on yourself. When you’re truly comfortable with yourself, you don’t feel the need for comparisons, and you don’t feel the need to do things simply to impress others.

All sounds pretty good right,  but how do you actually figure out how to be comfortable with yourself? The thing is, no one actually teaches this stuff in school. This is mindblowing when you think about it, our country’s in the midst of a mental health epidemic but yet, we’re still not taught fundamental lessons on how to care for ourselves and our well-being. 

Luckily though, there are some amazing self-help books out there that can guide you through your self-discovery journey and help you feel comfortable in your own skin. 


7 Ways To Feel More Comfortable In Your Own Skin


Learn To Recognise Your Thought Patterns

The first step to feeling more comfortable with who you are is simply starting to observe your thoughts and recognize when you are being hard on yourself. A good trick for doing this is to find two marbles, one white and one black, and carry them around in your pocket. As you go about your day, you’ll feel them clinking around and that will remind you to check-in with yourself.

Quickly, do a quick scan of your thoughts, are your thoughts mainly negative, and are you beating yourself up? Or are you seeing yourself in warm light, focusing on the positives and the small achievements you’ve accomplished that day?

Related: 25 Best Self-Help Books That Will Change Your Life


Start Journalling

If you’ve never journaled before, this would be a good time to start. Write down your feelings without judgment, let the words flow and your feelings will pour out of you. Then read them back and observe whether you are being kind or cruel to yourself.

Journalling is a great way to begin to identify that pesky little voice in your head, the one that is putting you down all the time and stopping you from feeling comfortable with yourself.

Treat yourself to a cute journal and make it a nightly ritual to write down your feelings each night for five minutes. You can even buy guided journals where all you have to do is answer the simple questions to figure out your feelings.

Without realizing, all too often, women place unrealistic high-expectations on ourselves which we will never achieve, and we soldier on through life, believing ourselves to be failures.



Figure Out Why You Feel Uncomfortable With Yourself

A large part of this journey to becoming comfortable with you are is based on becoming more self-aware. It’s an important life challenge to overcome.

It’s not going to be pretty and can be pretty painful at times, but the benefits are soo worth it, so please don’t give up! The most efficient way to figuring out why you feel you the way you do is by finding a good therapist to help your explore your feelings. But, let’s get real, finding a good therapist near you that is affordable and you vibe with can be hard.

In 2020 though, therapy doesn’t have to be face-to-face and online therapists are becoming more and more common. BetterHelp is one such service that matches you to the best online therapists to access therapy whenever you need it.

If online therapy is still out of reach for you, there are thousands of amazing self-help books out there that have guided exercises you can do to learn how to become self-aware yourself.

Or you could treat yourself to a guided self-exploration book like the amazing ‘Start Where You Are: A Journal for Self-Exploration’ by Meera Lee Patel

Check out the top 25 self-help books for millennial women.


Work On Your Self-Esteem

Women who are self-confident have a beautiful glow about them, they can walk into any room and feel comfortable with who they are. They don’t care about other’s opinions because their opinions don’t matter. What matters is how you feel about yourself.

You can work on your self-esteem by setting small goals for yourself weekly. An example could be aiming to run a mile without stopping. Exercise is proven to be one of the best ways to improve self-esteem.

Related: 5 Ways To Increase Your Self-Esteem



Did you know that when you’re not living your life true to yourself, that is when you feel like something like is missing?

Your life needs to be authentic to you. Otherwise, you will waste your time on this earth feeling uncomfortable with who you are. And do you really want that? Wouldn’t you prefer to live a full life, achieving all your goals?

That’s why learning to meditate is so important.

Meditating will help you get in touch with your inner-self and you can begin to accept yourself for who you are. Start small, by practising just 5 minutes a day, using a guided meditation for beginners.

Audiobooks are great for guided meditation, and at the moment, Amazon is offering a free month Audible trial. Where you can download two audiobooks for free. Even if you cancel your trial at the end of the month, you still get to keep the two audiobooks, what a sweet deal!

Find out more about the FREE month on Audible. 

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If you’re interested in meditation but have no idea where to start, why not consider taking an online course to learn this valuable skill.

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Related: 25 Best Self-Help Books For Women


Focus On Putting Yourself First

Women are conditioned from a young age to put everyone else’s needs first. To care for others and make sure everyone else is looked after. But who is looking after you and your needs?

Putting yourself first is crucial to your happiness and becoming comfortable with who you are.

And the easiest way to do that is to begin by saying no. Stop saying yes to commitments you don’t want to go. You don’t actually have to go to your college friend’s expensive bachelorette party across the country. Focus on growing quality friendships with people you enjoy doing things with, instead of holding on to old relationships just because you feel like you ‘should’.

There’s an amazing book called The Life-Changing Magic Of Not Giving A F**k’ which every 20-something woman should read and embrace. It’s all about how to let go of societal expectations, freeing you from spending time with people you don’t like and doing things you don’t even want to.

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Spend More Time Alone

The most important person in your life is YOU. So, learning to be comfortable spending time alone is pretty integral if you ever want to overcome the challenge of feeling good about yourself and liking who you are as a person.

A great goal to set is to aim to spend an evening alone by yourself every week, and this means putting your phone and laptop away. Cellphones are huge distractions in getting to know yourself. 

Plan a relaxing evening alone, cook yourself a romantic dinner, enjoy a hot bath with candles, and then settle in bed with a great book. Sounds like bliss, right?

Related: 8 Benefits Of Spending Time Alone


Final Thoughts On How To Become More Comfortable In Your Skin

The most important point I want you to remember from this article is that you’re not alone if you feel a bit weird about yourself like something is missing.

Us millennials have never been taught to look after ourselves because we’ve been conditioned to spend all our time on social media, comparing ourselves to other people. It’s no wonder that most of us have no idea what we want to do with our lives.

The journey to feeling better about yourself is a long one, but the rewards will be worth it. Take comfort from these inspirational quotes for young women, there are some great self-help book recommendations there too.


7 ways to feel comfortable in your skin