Last Updated on July 7, 2020 by Camilla Gill
Do you understand the importance learning how to get to know yourself?
Do you know who you really are as a person?
Not what you do for a living, what you look like and what your hobbies are.
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If you answer is along the lines “I am X nationality, work for X company and I’m the partner of Mr Bob as well as the mother of two beautiful children”,
You don’t know yourself.
What are your values?
What drives you?
The millennial generation is lost.
It seems not many people can truly say that they are comfortable with the idea of learning how to get to know yourself.
Why do we feel lost?
In the rapidly changing that world we live in, we experience far more changes to our lives than previous generations.
It is now the norm to go through multiple careers, multiple long-term relationships, live in numerous different countries and have extended blended families.
We have so many choices and opportunities that we en up feeling more directionless than ever.
In previous generations, it was the norm to have our identities placed upon us, our relationships, our careers, as they were generally a lot more steady.
The issue with using our situations, how others perceive us, our behaviors, or our positions in life to define ourselves is that our circumstances are not permanent.
Our lives are constantly changing.
It is easy to identify ourselves by the numerous different roles we all play in our daily lives.
For example, a talented football player may identify him as a football player, taking this title and attaching himself to it.
Until one day, he seriously injures himself and can no longer play football. Who is he now?
Learning who you are
If you suddenly find yourself with your life upside down; perhaps a recent breakup or job redundancy forcing you to make some big changes. You may find yourself feeling lost, vulnerable and scared.
This is where the importance of knowing how to get to know yourself lies.
The next time something changes in your life out of your control, you won’t be hit by a wave of anxiousness. You’ll be able to ride the storm out, confident in who you are and able to accept the challenge that life has thrown at you.
Strip back the circumstances of work, the roles of family life and let’s work out who you are without any changeable situations influencing your identity.
Lots of people enjoy doing personality metric tests to learn who they are. If that’s your thing, then here are a few below.
16Personalities (Myers Briggs)
However, I am not such a fan of these tests. I found a lot more success by simply stopping lying to myself.
I decided to learn who I am by identifying my core values.
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Discover Your Personal Core Values
I would bet most of us are not able to easily name our core values.
We don’t take the time to work out why we are the way we are. We don’t know our values.
It can be hard to identify your personal core values and learn who you truly are.
Luckily, we live in the age of information. You can easily find online lots of different sites with lists of up to 500 different values.
How to get to know yourself in 5 steps
1. Choose any of the above websites as a resource.
2. Take out a piece of paper.
3. Go through your chosen list of values and mark the values which most resonate with you.
4. Do it again and cull a few of those values. Keep culling until you are left with between 5 to 10 values that speak to your soul the loudest.
5. Sort the list into an order of priority.
While doing this exercise you’ll find that most values listed won’t evoke any reaction within you, but some values will seemingly jump out of the page at you and you’ll instinctively know that this is one of your values.
When you’re finished, put the list to one side and return to it in a few days.
Keep it fermenting in your mind, allowing the list to become part of you and slowly begin accepting the values as who you are.
BENEFITS OF KNOWING YOURSELF?
The benefits of knowing who you truly are and what drives your decisions will make it far easier to weather turbulent times.
You will be able to stay true to yourself and your destined path.
The best part of your core values is that, unlike your outside circumstances, they don’t change. They are you.
In order to do this kind of exercise properly, you will need to learn to be comfortable spending time with yourself. No distractions.
Just the beginning
Doing this sort of exercise is by no means the end of your journey of getting to know yourself.
Rather, it is the beginning of the journey of learning who you are.
But, the benefits will go far into helping to rid yourself of that lost feeling so many of our generation seem to be feeling.